lately i think about ✷ a lot

i could reach out my hand and it will be there, but...
i always fear being eaten alive

it hurt me a lot in the past, i hurt it too.


today walking the streets i saw flowers. i saw people too.

and everything reminded me of ✷ again and again. i could talk...
it just seems so unappealing to me, just like in the past

i feel as if- i am ruining something by having these thoughts in me,these feelings

feel i am losing progress of years and years


i wont even know what to say now

and i keep dreaming of re-forming the relationship with ✷ and some others that i lost

not all... just some... i keep dreaming

i never built the power to move in me, it stayed the same
since then... nothings changed, has it?